COVID-19 Thoughts From a College Student

Picture taken from https://today.emerson.edu/2020/03/23/alumni-association-creates-covid-19-emergency-fund-to-help-vulnerable-students/

I remember when I first got the email that my college was transitioning to online classes. I was sitting on my bed in my dorm room, watching last night's Bachelor episode, constantly refreshing my email. Throughout the day, I had heard that the possibility of the transition was extremely likely. We were all just waiting for an answer. By now, Harvard and MIT had cancelled classes.

I didn't think it would ever get to this though.

I was in denial about the virus, like everyone else in this country. When I first heard the word corona, I thought there's no way this will affect me or my life. 

"I'm telling you now, this is gonna get bad,” said my mother. I was home one weekend towards the beginning of February, my mom was watching the news and turned to me when the first case had been reported in the United States. I rolled my eyes, and shrugged the thought of it "getting bad" away.

For the first time, I even agreed with President Trump. This virus was going to die off, and we'd never hear about it again.

The one case turned to over 50. My mother told me to be prepared for my school being closed, and I again, rolled my eyes. News from across the globe was reporting that China, and now Italy was starting to get worse. I started blaming the media for scaring everyone, including my mom. But again, I thought, this isn't affecting me so why should I be worried about it? 

During spring break, I was working at my part job when I got a notification from a friend that students at the castle (a study abroad program at my college) were being sent home. And I was possibly getting a new roommate. I got to admit, I was angry at first. For one, I didn't want another roommate and two, it didn't make sense to me that there were barely any cases in New Zealand at the time.

I got to school the Monday after break, and students from the castle were already back.

By then, there were 92 cases of COVID-19 in Massachusetts. Most of them were linked to a Bio tech conference from a couple weeks back. I Facetimed with my mom and sister that Tuesday morning after my first class, and my sister was crying. Her friend Ally was being sent home from her study abroad trip in England. In a month, my sister was supposed to visit her and attend a Harry Styles' concert. But it wasn't happening anymore. During my second class, my professor brought up how taking the course online would go, hoping that it wouldn't get to that point as we left the room. I remember thinking shit, this is bad. 

And that night I got the email. I was trying to understand how some of my classes were going to work, as well as deciding whether or not I wanted to stay on campus. My mind was running a million miles per hour. But only two days later, I found myself ripping off the pictures on my wall, taking my sheets off my bed, throwing my clothes in a plastic bag, and saying goodbye to my best friends....not knowing when I was ever going to see them again.

It hit me as I hugged my friend Thomas in the hallway outside my best friend Karigan's room. She was also packing her dorm room away that held so many memories from the past semester and a half. Not even. I hadn't really thought about the consequences of this all until now. And I cried. I cried as I packed. I cried as I met my mom on the sidewalk outside of school with my car to pack everything up. I cried at the loss of my senior year of college.

There is now over 200,000 cases of COVID-19 in the United States. Almost 5,000 people have died, and it's only going to get worse. Hospitals are over capacity, and nurses and doctors are struggling to take care of patients with limited resources. So many people have died that they are now MAKING MAKE SHIFT morgues.

In the past month since I hugged my friend Thomas in that dorm room hallway, my college graduation has been cancelled. The day I have been looking forward to celebrate for four years will now be happening online. I have sat in my house for 20 days, only leaving a couple of times to go to work and the grocery store. Every day I log onto Zoom for class, and submit work through Canvas. I also no longer work at my part time job. The concerts that I worked so hard to attend this summer will also be postponed in the near future.

And every night I see a new person on my television screen. A nurse. A woman who lost her husband. A family who currently has a son my age in a comma. Begging this all to stop.

I've started praying more than I ever have before, and spend the days trying to distract myself by playing the Sims or doing my homework. I try not to swim in the burden of heavy emotions that we are all carrying right now...because it's something we all need a break from once in a while.

It’s crazy how much you can take for granted, and realize it only after the fact. I am thankful to be healthy and have food to eat, with a roof over my head, while many do not. The amount of hardship those are facing right now is nothing I will ever be able to understand.

But I wish more than anything I could go back to what seem like now, simple times. From not wanting to wake up for my 10 am class, to dance parties in my best friends' dorm on Friday nights...you would never think these small moments in our life that we either love or despise, are now times in the future that we need to step back and be grateful.

Because this does effect me. It was always going to effect me. This effects everyone.

Life as we know it has changed, and it's not exactly guaranteed.

So before you leave the house, and before you think to yourself "this virus doesn't affect me"....think again.