♡ Bella Rose ♡

 God is it hard being a sober 26-year-old.  When you look in my fridge, you'll most likely find a couple of Polar seltzers, or a 20-ounce bottle of diet coke. The way I end my days by "winding down" is boiling a cup of tea, grabbing a pint of ice cream, and putting on my favorite Youtube video that I've most likely seen a million times.  It's now the deep breath I used to take when I had that first sip of alcohol.  For over two years, alcohol was my coping mechanism for my anxiety and my chronic depression.  At 7 months sober, I know still have a lot to work on. But I'm slowly coming to realize that I now envy those my age who are able to able to open their fridge at night and crack open a beer. I have jealousy for those who get to go out to the bars on the weekends and hang out with their friends, who have bottles of wine sitting in the fridge. Who can agree to having drinks with a guy for a first date.  I have to accept I'm not the normal 26-year-old. Wh

you know you have a crush when he's all you think about.  when another man is inside of you, looking into your eyes, and calling your name yet you still have his laugh stuck in your head, repeating like a game.  And you think back to him at that old podium all those months ago,  when you fell for his tricks so easily, because how were you to know  that he'd bring up the feelings you've always craved  a fire inside of you, like he's calling your name.  but you think about the months that go by, as time continues to flow  and you still can't understand why he won't let his feelings known  because he's still the one you think about when another man's inside of you  as he'll always be the boy who could have been more  he's everything to you sweetie, but he'll always be unsure.